"If I have to speak in front of people I get so anxious I can't stand it. I won't sign up for a class if an oral presentation is involved. It's just not worth it."

• fears acting in a way (or showing anxiety symptoms) that will be humiliating or embarrassing,
• experiences anxiety, which may take the form of a panic attack, when he or she is in feared social or performance situations,
• avoids feared situations or endures them with intense distress,
• experiences anxiety, anxious anticipation, or avoidance that significantly interferes with his or her life or causes great distress.

Some people experience anxiety only in particular situations like public speaking or dating. Others have anxiety in many or most social situations.

• Public speaking
• Initiating or maintaining conversations
• Dating
• Parties
• Eating or drinking in public
• Writing in public
• Using public restrooms

Physiological symptoms of anxiety in social or performance situations (such as panic attacks, sweating, trembling, blushing), combined with negative or fearful thoughts about how others perceive or judge you, can lead to increased anxiety, decreased performance, avoidance of feared situations, negative beliefs about yourself and others, and anticipatory anxiety about future situations. People with social anxiety may adopt safety behaviors that help them feel safe in social situations, such as speaking softly or avoiding eye contact; however, these behaviors often cause them to appear awkward or aloof and can evoke the very negative reactions from others that they fear. The result of all these elements working together is a negative cycle of anxiety, negative self-evaluation, fearful anticipation, and avoidance behaviors that prevent people from overcoming their anxiety in social situations.

• Education and monitoring: Learn about the specific cognitive, behavioral, and physiological components that contribute to your social anxiety.
• Cognitive: Identify and test the negative thoughts that contribute to your social anxiety, and develop more realistic and helpful beliefs.
• Behavioral: To overcome social anxiety, it is important to test your beliefs about social situations by exposing yourself to situations that trigger your fears. Your therapist will help you gradually expose yourself to feared social situations (starting with easy ones and working up to harder ones), both in imagination and in real life and set realistic goals for your performance in those situations. Your therapist will help you identify and drop safety behaviors that actually contribute to the problem. You and your therapist may also work on increasing your social skills so that you can feel more confident and be more effective in social situations.

Web links:
The Anxiety Disorders Association of America
The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies
The Shyness Institute and The Shyness Clinic
The Social Fitness Center
Freedom from Fear

Books:
For links to purchase these books and others, please go to Self-Help Books for Adults

Antony, M.M. & Swinson, R.P. (2000). The shyness and social anxiety workbook. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.

Hope, D.A., Heimberg, R.G., Juster, H.R., & Turk, C.L. (2000). Managing social anxiety: A cognitive-behavioral therapy approach. New York, NY: Oxford University Press, Inc. (Copyright by Graywind Publications, Incorporated).

Markway, B.G., Carmin, C.N., Pollard, C.A., & Flynn, T. (1992). Dying of embarrassment: Help for social anxiety & phobia. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.